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Wednesday, June 08, 2022
Mothers work
The women of our family always worked
My paternal grandmother, Hacı Ziynet, was born in 1900 in Eğirdir. From her childhood until her death in 1977, she worked at the carpet loom all her life for her uncles, the carpet merchants, in exchange for a sore throat. When she reached the age of fifty, her son İsmal started to send her monthly money when he graduated from Ankara Law Faculty and became a judge. She lived downstairs in her wooden house overlooking the lake in the Imaret neighborhood of Eğirdir. With the monthly money from his son, she did the shopping for the market and the kitchen. SHe didn't stop working on the carpet loom. SHe no longer needed to work for money, but continued to weave carpets. SHe gifted the handcrafted carpets she wove to the mosque of the imaret district, just below the street where she lived. In the last years of her life, when her eyes could not see clearly, she stopped following the carpet motifs unique to Isparta, and now she wove intricate pansies, carpets, prayer rugs from wool. I admired her skill in very fast weaving carpets on the carpet loom. She lived in the small wooden house that was inherited from her late husband Mülazimı Sani Abdullah, the winner of the 1922 Turkish Independence War Medal. She lived with her relatives and with their neighbors. There was no running water in her house, the water for ablution would come from the street fountain with pitchers. She used to go to the neighborhood public bath once a week. SHe used to come to us in the winter, pray all night until the morning, the reciter of the Qur'an pray. It was her duty to wash us children on Sundays. SHe kept the apple orchard on lake shore and the Cire Balkırı fields, which were inherited from her father Rafi Bey, who was martyred in the Edirne trenches in the 1912 Balkan War, she resisted and did not sell, satisfied with taking the money from the rent, a few boxes of sweet, very juicy starking apples from the apple orchard, that would come to us in winter. On an August morning, on her way to the neighborhood mosque for the morning prayer, she suffered a heart attack and surrendered her soul at the door of the mosque. The burial place, the shroud, everything were ready, they brought her to the afternoon prayer and buried her on the same day. When I went the next day, all that was left to do was to pray at her grave and return.
My maternal grandmother, Fatma Müzeyyen, was born in Pazarköy, Bosnia Sarajevo in 1900. One morning in the 1912 Balkan War, the tea in the stove was left hot and the whole family fell on their way to escape. When they arrived in Istanbul after walking 2000 km in winter, all the elders of the family except her Aunt died on the way. they took shelter with their relatives who had come to Istanbul before and settled there. Fatma Müzeyyen became the home tailor of the bridesmaids of Istanbul Aksaray Kıztaşı Hobyar neighborhood. SHe would go to the houses, cut the fabric suitable for the models that the housewives and young girls liked, and leave the sewing work to them. The women of the beautiful Istanbul Aksaray neighborhood of the 1930s 1940s wore modern gowns and wonderful dresses in line with Parisian fashion. She married Abdulkadir Bey, the clerk of the Aksaray court, in 1924. It eas Abdulkadir Bey’s the second marriage after many years. He had an adult daughter from his first wife, whom he lost early. In 1925, a daughter named Ayşe Hadiye was born. Abdulkadir Bey passed away in 1930 from a heart attack. The two-storey house where they lived was left for the mother and daughter. Half of the house belonged to Abdulkadir's brother. They lived in this garden house for many years and rented the ground floor. Hadiye went to the neighborhood primary and secondary school. She was a hardworking student, she had no choice but to study and succeed. She continued her education at the Capa teacher's school. On the weekends, she would go out as weekend home stay , she eould collect the sugar cubes for breakfast during the week and bring them to her mother. Capa teacher's school was over, Hadiye started her Turkish Literature branch teacher training at Ankara Gazi Education Institute, she graduated two years later. In the meantime, the lawsuit filed by their uncle ended in 1950. The house was sold, half of the money was taken by the heirs of the uncle, Fatma Müzeyyen Hanım, Hadiye and Abdulkadir's first wife's children and grandchildren shared the remaining half. Fatma Müzeyyen's house was lost, she moved to her daughter, and when she went to Istanbul, she became a tenant in a room of her close friends' house. In 1950, teacher Hadiye and Judge İsmail got married in the Army Gurst house in Isparta, where they were assigned. Fatma Müzeyyen smoked a lot when she was separated from her daughter, she died in 1952 at a young age due to a sudden heart attack. She was buried in the Cihanbeyli cemetery. Years later, when I was crossing nearby the main road, I looked for her grave and could not find it. Sandstorms of the Konya plain had erased the writings on the tombstones.
Ayşe Hadiye, was born in 1925 in Istanbul, became a Turkish Literature teacher in 1947, her first assignment was in Isparta, where she worked at the Institute for Girls. She got married in 1950, worked in Aydın Çine, Kırıkkale and Ankara secondary schools, gave birth to three boys, retired in 1975, bought a house in Istanbul with her retirement bonus and lived there with her husband. There was an unchanging order in their house, classic channel trt3 was played on the radio, Cumhuriyet newspaper was bought at home, the kitchen dishes laundry was My mother’s responsibility. Whereas shopping, money, tax expenses were fulfilled by my father. We lost my mother in 2018 and my father in 2020, both from multiple organ failure.
I understand that the mother does not work and takes care of her baby after the child is born at home, and I find it very right. The baby needs her mother. The baby should not be left alone and should not be entrusted to the nursery. In Germany and Scandinavian countries, State even give the father the right to leave work for a long time so that he can take care of his newborn baby. In order to prevent mothers from working and to increase the employment opportunities of men instead of them, mothers with newborn babies were not given the right to paid-leave. After years, long-term unpaid leave came out. I say that the father should be able to earn enough money for the family, and the mother should stay at home and take care of her child until the school age. Nowadays, it is now possible to work online from home using an internet computer, especially during the covid period. After taking care of their children and putting them to sleep at home, mothers can earn money by using a computer in the study room. There are many examples, they can work as call-centers, that is, they can work as customer services, they can write articles, novels and reviews. They can earn money on information technology works.
All the women of our family worked for life, they sacrificed themselves in the difficult conditions of the Balkan and the 1st World War, during the scarcity times of the 2nd World War, they tried to give the best of everything they could for their children.
May Allah be pleased with them all, may their place be heaven.
Prinkipo island near Istanbul 8 June 2022
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