Fathers & Sons

Father, it is me, Haluk

Good morning, son. Good to hear you.

Did I wake you up? So early?

No I was not sleeping, I cannot sleep properly these days, and I was awake all night, reading,
Also it is not early. It is half past seven. How are you? Where are you?

I am in the office Pa.

Why so early, what’s up?

Nothing Pa, I have work to do, you know the latest project I have,
I am the new project manager, and everything is in mess.
I have to fix everthing and speed up the project.
I couldn’t stay at home.

No, No, what is up son? You’re hiding something,
Common say something, what is up?
You’re crying? Or you’re angry? Something wrong, in your voice? What is up?

I am not crying Pa, but I am angry,
Yeah, let me tell you what is up.
I have a friend, for 40 years, since my high school days.
We were in the same high school.
He has a very pretty young daughter.
Maybe a perfect match for your grandson,
She got her engineering degree last week.
I thought that, maybe, myself, my friend, our wives, she, him, we come together,
In a dinner maybe,
in our University Alumni club,
in its open-space restaurant
in the green grass garden,
sometime late in the night,
something simple to eat,
something to drink, white wine, then red wine,
we speak among ourselves,
they speak, her daughter, my son,
maybe something could happen later,

No need to be unhappy son, don’t worry, calm down, speak up, tell me what happened later,

All I want is his happiness, Pa, nothing but his happiness, that was a good match, she had no attachments, she was very pretty, she has a good degree, just a good match Pa, I wanted his happiness,

That is good son, certainly you want his happiness,

I reserved a table for six, yesterday night, I called my friend, I asked to bring his wife and his daughter, to celebrate her university degree,

We were in the restaurant at 0800 PM Pa, they came,
him- my friend, his wife and his daughter, pretty young girl Pa,

Your grandson didn’t come to dinner, Pa.
My son came late at home,
he said he was tried at his job,
I told him to join us for the night, just for a few hours, to be in our table, to be with us, to speak with the pretty young girl, just a few hours, no attachments, no commitment,
he has no attachment, she has no attachment,
and he didn’t come, he stayed at home,
I called him twice, why Pa,
he didn’t come, he preferred too stay at home, watch TV instead, why Pa,
All I wanted was his happiness, am I wrong Pa, what is wrong with me, Pa?

Don’t worry son, there is nothing to be unhappy, nothing so important, water passes in its own channel, time will settle down and erase everything, and you do your best my son.

I felt embarrassed Pa, he didn’t come, I felt lonely, I felt ashamed, I felt hopeless, and I am terribly sorry Pa, why does he behave like that? Is this because of me? What did I do wrong Pa? He feels satisfied when I am unhappy. He has a certain satisfaction when he makes me unhappy, why Pa. I spent all my life for him Pa. Why did he do like that?

Son, that is it, don’t worry, learn not to worry what your son does to you. He is a grown up man. He is 26. He is a professional engineer. He has a good job. He has his own problems with his own work. He knows what he does. Don’t worry. Don’t take it for yourself. Live your life. You did what you feel appropriate. If that does not work. Leave as it is. You can’t help if it is beyond your control.

But Pa, he goes after other girls, buying flowers, spending many hours with them, why not with this girl, why Pa?

I wish I know son, leave it as it is. Don’t worry.
You did what you had to do. That is all.
He will find what is right, what is wrong by himself
You cannot help him, leave him alone,
Your perfect match may not be his perfect match,
you did all you can, that is all,
When will you be coming? I missed you. Come sometime, we drink some, speak some, walk some. I have a very good selection wine, dry, red, I am sure that you will like it,

I will come soon Pa, as soon as I clear up my desk here, I will.
I promise to come the week after next week.
We walk together, and talk Pa, I promise I will come soon.

No need to worry, Son. That is life.
Yes, Pa, no need to worry.

Ankara, based on a true story.